This past year has been a strange year. Last year at this time my Grandmother was in the hospital and never came home 😦 She passed on December 21st. Since that date I have been totally in a cloud. I have fallen off with some of my responsibilities and dug a hole that I need to climb out of. Thankfully, I am climbing out now … slowly but surely!
In January, on my birthday, I went to my favorite bar, I call it the Bikini Bar as the bartenders wear bikinis. That is not the reason I go, I go because their happy hour includes $3 drinks. Lol. Needless to say, there are nothing but men in that bar, mostly married construction workers. Again … I go for the cheap drinks, I have been going there for years and haven’t met one prospect. This day however, I meet a guy who seemed to have his stuff together. Single, no kids (wasn’t a plus at first as I didn’t want anymore), good job and no record. Lol.
I would only go to this bar on Fridays for the one hour then go home or elsewhere to hang out. However, after meeting this guy I started stopping by during the week just to see if he would be there. He did the same. I never saw him there before but he would go at different days and times than I did.
Long story short, he is now my boyfriend. We have so much in common and truly enjoy our time together. He has met my son and they get along great. Funny thing is, last October I had a dream that I was in love with a man who was tall and wore glasses. How funny, this man is 6’4 and wears glasses!!! We are making plans for our future and are dedicated to give this a fair shot. We both have a few issues from past relationships but are taking the time to learn and teach each other … slowly but surely!
So as this relationship was progressing, I seemed to sink deeper and deeper in my hole. Most of my free time was spent with him instead of the things that I needed to focus on. He recently got a new job which is a much better opportunity then the Accounting job he previously held. The hours don’t allow us to spend as much time together which gives me the time to get back on track. I am also in the process of looking for a new job as the one I have is ok but there are many benefits that I need that they promised to provide but almost 2 years later still have not.
Things are beginning to look up for me which is more than what I could say this time last year. The holidays are kind of bitter sweet for me as this is the first holiday season without my Grandmother but at the same time the first holiday season with my soul mate. I feel guilty if I feel too happy and guilty if I feel too sad. I’ve decided to just go with whatever emotion I am feeling at the time and work through it. Slowly but surely I will find a balance.
I am looking forward to the upcoming year as I have put myself in a better situation due to digging myself out of a hole. I have paid off bills that needed to get paid a while ago, I have gotten repairs done in my apartment that were long over due to get done. I am back on track and getting ready to go full steam ahead. All I need right now is a new job and I will be as close to at peace as I possibly can for the moment.
I remain thankful for all that I have gone through and all that there is to come and will not be greedy. The saying I believe in the most is “where you are at the moment is exactly where you are supposed to be”. If I was meant to work at a different office right now, I would be. The time will come when it is supposed to.
I don’t know the entire purpose of this post but what I do know is that sometimes we fall apart, and it happens so quickly but with determination and dedication we are always able to put ourselves back together only to be better … slowly but surely!!
Until next time 🙂